Grey (50 Shades as Told by Christian #1) by E.L. James

I thought hearing 50 Shades of Grey from Christian Grey’s point of view would bring some light to how the actions of the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy began. How this supposedly handsome, worldly, wealthy businessman became enamored by the witless, clumsy, penniless, plain Jane, Anastasia Steele. That question still has not been answered in this 4th installment of the 50 Shades of Grey series, if anything it deepens the conundrum.

Upon her first appearance in his office, Grey finds Anastasia to be unprepared, clumsy and is easily angered by the way she laughs at him. Grey’s harsh criticisms of Anastasia make him come off like a high school mean girl. Commenting on her clothing and lack of sophistication make come off as pompous and unlikable and makes Anastasia appear even more unimpressive than she did in the first three books. Which makes it hard understand the lengths he goes to be near this girl, who barely says two words to him, let alone anything clever or beguiling, because she’s too busy looking at her hands, blushing or fidgeting uncomfortably.

The story opens with Grey stating he is bored with the monotony of his life of power suits and private jets.  Used to having only professional submissives, he could have liked the challenge of ‘turning out’ the naïve, charmless Anastasia to his world of debauchery and depravity. Instead readers get; ‘for some reason she amuses me…’, ‘oh despite myself I find her charming…’, “oh where did that thought come from?” lazy writing as an explanation for his infatuation.

I already didn’t like Christian Grey from the previous books, because he was a pussy ass bitch. He went on and on about how he needed to be in control, didn’t do romance, wrote out a black and white contract stating what he wanted and expected from Anastasia. Only to let her pussy foot around and not adhere to any of his stipulations. Some dominate. Grey’s contradictions continue in this story. Loathing how people moon over his good looks, but desperately wanting Anastasia to notice them. Being arrogant and entitled, but insecure around other men. Sizing them up and staring them down to show his dominance, instead of not giving them a care in the world because he knows he’s the better man.

Bringing Anastasia to meet his family, introducing her as his girlfriend, but ‘they’re just fucking”. “He doesn’t do romance”. “That’s not the type of relationship they have”. Huh?! What the #$% are you two doing then?!

Flashbacks of Grey’s childhood with his ‘crack whore’ mother and his early days with the Grey family after they adopted him, are sprinkled throughout the story, but would have been better off left out. They don’t show how he went from a troubled youth to the man he is today and just slows down story. Wading through the miles of Grey’s insecure, contradictory internal dialogue isn’t worth it to see him ‘fuck hard’ the unimpressive and eating disorder having Anastasia Steele or make this book worth reading. –Burn it!

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